Friday, July 31, 2009


The Tao was created by Lao Tsu.

However 30% of Americans must think it is Confucianism.

That is how the Tao must be perceived.

Because most people who quote Chinese philosophers are too full of themselves to get it right.

Opposites Indeed Attract

You must like the movies
To like T.V.
You must take things serious
To take 'em light
You must go to bed early
To party all night

friends are sayin'
We ain't gonna last

You must move slowly
To baby I'm fast
You must like it quiet
To love to shout
You must get together
To just all work out

You must take 2 steps forward
To take 2 steps back
You must come together
Cuz opposites attract
You must know-it ain't fiction
To know how its Just a natural fact
You come together
Cuz opposites attract

If theres one thing Lao loves it's Paula Abdul.
Lao also loves talking in the third person.

Lao Out.

Regarding the Yin and the Yang

The yin yang symbol is exceedingly badass
It should therefore
Be drawn on every book cover
For Middle Schoolers textbooks

It should not be next to text
It should not be next to lame
It should not be next to silly phone numbers

It SHOULD be next to the Stussy.

The Yin Yang is all things cool.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Regarding the Tao and Bacon Bits

The Tao is all things to all people. It is the good the bad,
It is the evil the good,
It is the combination of flow, stagnant power,
In this definition includes Bacon Bits.

A lot of people have come up to me and said
"Lao, so this tao thing
It means unity"
and I always respond
"Yep, that's right, it is all"

"But what about bacon?"
They Ask.
"Bacon is like sooooo good. Isn't bacon like, better than the tao?"

Bacon is a part of the tao. The flesh of a pig
is a part of the earth flowing, constantly shifting.

"But seriously,"
they say,
"Bacon is like the fucking bomb. I mean I think it's better than the tao"

This is not true.

"So wait, I think the tao is like a salad...
a lot of stuff mixed together, right?"
They say

"Not really" i reply.

"Yeah, but it's pretty much that, but when you add bacon bits to that salad its like a whole new salad. A better salad. Bacon Bits make it better. So really, when you say the Tao is all it's like all, but not bacon bits, because nothing can define how good bacon is."

That is not true.

The Tao also includes Bacon Bits.